I'd like an order of Humble Pie please...

Since I have been in Niger, I have been working in the pharmacy.  Great place to work… especially since a large portion of that work happened to be in the ‘cold room.’  A very lovely little corner of paradise… where it is almost a requirement that you wear mittens if you are back where the injectables and lab supplies are stored!

I’m usually a pretty sharp cookie… years of nursing shorthand for charting may have screwed up my grammar, but I am usually pretty good at picking things up quickly.  A good skill to have when working in healthcare constantly throws curve-balls at ya.

Today I was asked to help start with the monthly inventory.  No problem, done it before lots of times, in fact, I got a 104% on my ARV inventory final – talk about wacky rules and regulations – NGO’s are great for that!  And really, how hard could it be?  

It was explained to me once…

Then twice…

Then I started on the 3^rd drug… ran to ask a question and was walked through the process again… and again for the 4^th drug… and the 5^th.  I started to sing to myself “I feel pretty, oh so pretty…” except that I changed “pretty” to “stupid.”  The last time I felt this completely lost on a concept was at the beginning of a chemistry class and Dr. Ali was trying to explain conversions.  I just couldn’t get it!  Just picture me with a glazed look in my eye and my mouth open, drooling… not a pretty sight!

I had to laugh at myself… I knew the drugs upside down and backwards.  I could tell you what they were for, the side effects, the dosages and alternate names.  I could tell you what labs you should be watching when giving the drug and even the costs of some of them… but for some crazy reason, I completely froze up and try as I might, I could not wrap my brain around their inventory process.

Mr S, the nurse who is acting as pharmacist and is an amazing Christian, was so worried about me that he came back to the cold room to see how I was doing… by then I had figured it out but I just had to laugh.  I mean, I can’t be perfect at everything… I needed something to keep me humble!

Grace like rain...

Today started like any other day here in West Africa…hot and humid before the sun even got out of bed!  There had been some hints of rain since I arrived, a couple of dust storms here and there, which are the opening act in these here parts, but the star of the show was refusing to make an appearance.  

Today was different.  By tea time, the heavens opened up and it poured!  It rained until the puddles were large enough to long jump over.  It rained until there was sloppy mud to squish between your toes.  It rained enough for people to stop and smile…and to relax.  

As many of you know, this has been one heck of a year for me… saying it ‘was a doozy’ would be a HUGE understatement.  I was blessed to have many wonderful friends gather around and support me, but one friend was kind enough to take me and my brokenness into her home (!), giving me a safe place to begin the healing process.  She was also crazy brave enough to take on my wacko emotions and knock some much needed, and much (later) appreciated sanity and truth into my head!  One day when I had been back a couple of months and still having a hard time adjusting, she said that ‘a year from now you’ll look back and realize how much you have healed.’  My head believed her, but my heart couldn’t… until today.  

Today reminded me of how His grace washes over us just like rain, and it made me realize, that somewhere in the midst of all the craziness of the last year, God knew I would be ready.  Ready to return to humanity, to rekindle/repair neglected friendships, and to stick my toe back into missions and ministry...

...and so...

He invited me… a broken, ‘one-term wonder’ of a missionary who by His grace took my failings in Zim and still managed to squeak some good out of it.  

Me, who didn’t think she had anything left to offer but was still crazy enough and willing to go.  

Me, who got here and immediately, dehisced all my wounds and turned into an emotional wreck all over again. 

I may think He's a bit off His rocker for doing it, but in His infinite wisdom and promises of super power strength to carry me through... He invited me to join Him here.  He invited me… He chose... me…

So that He could pour His love, grace and mercy over me by ministering to my wounds through others that have also ‘been there, done that and got the T-shirt.’ 

So that He could provide a temporary replacement for the pharmacy tech that broke her leg. 

So that He could show His love to West Africa through physical and spiritual healing.

So that He could minster to staff that are weary and are struggling with what feels like a never ending battle to keep people alive let alone healthy.

So that He could show me that we HAVE traveled far this year...  even with all the potholes and roadblocks!

No pun intended, but isn't that just cool!  The God of the Universe took the time and made the effort to make sure I 'got' it...  and refreshed both my soul and my body in the process!  Gotta love someone who cares for us THAT much!

So... now the question is... where is He inviting you?  (If it's West Africa... make sure you pack a ray gun to kill the camel spiders!)

God bless and fambai zvakanaka!

(for those whose Shona is a little rusty... that means 'travel well!')

PS - and to my Vulcan friend... I love you... and THANK YOU!!!!!